Kanawha Valley Church

-Husbands should NEVER be harsh! Husbands must serve their wives, being considerate. Husbands should do their share of the housework, cleaning, taking care of the children, etc.

1 Peter 3:5-6

-Wives must learn submission. Wives should never nag or be bossy.

-As each partner submits to God’s plan, our greatest needs are met. Men feel respected and women feel loved.

SPIRITUAL MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES

Communication

Ephesians 4:29

-Build up with your words; do not tear each other down! (Proverbs 12:18, 18:21)

James 1:9

-Be quick to listen. (Proverbs 18:13)

Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:26

-Deal with resentments or bitterness / Do not bury them

Song of Songs 2:15

-Marriages can go bad when “little things” build up. Deal with conflict on a daily basis.

Proverbs 15:22

-Be partners in planning. Set up a regular planning time to work together on scheduling, finances, household needs, etc.

Spirituality

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

-Talk about spiritual things when you are together.

-Pray with your spouse daily.

-Considering studying a spiritual book together (marriage, parenting, or just a spiritual book in general).

Romance

1 Corinthians 7:5

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

-Do not forget to love like the Bible describes (this is the best recipe for romance!)

-Remember the special touches: cards, flowers, presents, surprises

Spiritual Exercise: Do something this month to build up your marriage spiritually. Examples: Pray together, seek out marriage discipling/counseling, share your faith together, start reading a marriage book together, etc.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE- SPIRITUAL FAMILIES

SPIRITUAL FOCUS

Deuteronomy 6:4-7; Ephesians 6:4

-God has given us the responsibility to train up our children to know him.

-Have regular, consistent family devotionals.

-Be on time to church. Allow extra time, particularly considering the children. Plan to come early!

-Pray with the children before they go to bed.

-Have a weekly family time.

-Find a spiritual family you can learn from and ask for input.

-If you have Christian children, work with the preteen or teen ministry. Embrace feedback they may give you about your family.

-Aim to have an evangelistically fruitful family.

SECURITY AND HAPPINESS

1 Thessalonians 2:7, 11-12

-Our children need our time—you will need to reorder your priorities!

-Our children need affection—without it, they will become insecure, cold, introverted and awkward around strangers.

DISCIPLINE

Proverbs 23:13-14; 22:15; 29:15, 17, 19, 21

-It is unloving not to give it. Discipline is training.

-The husband should be the chief discipliner

-Husband and wife should agree on the “rules,” lest the children pick and choose whom to obey!

Colossians 3:21

-Encouragement is necessary.

Proverbs 22:6

-Areas of training: Respect toward authority, speech and openness, affection, manners, tidiness, moodiness.

Spiritual Exercise: Have a fun-filled, spiritually focused, family devotional.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE- ACADEMICS

2 Corinthians 5:18-20

-God called us to be Christians as students for a reason! We have a responsibility to glorify God in academics and evangelism.

Colossians 3:22-23

-Attitude is more important than aptitude. Academics are a vital part of a student’s spiritual life. To have consistent motivation, work for God, not for self.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

-A consistent example has an impact! Classmates will be drawn to those who can help others.

Mark 7:37

-People were amazed by Jesus’ all-around excellence. You will amaze family and friends if you excel in all areas.

James 1:2-4

-Persevering with academics leads to spiritual maturity: discipline, focus and faith.

Proverbs 6:6; 13:4; 18:9; 21:5

-Be diligent in your studies- there is no substitute for diligence.

-Attend every lecture. This is also very important for your example.

-Take good notes and catch up on missed lectures.

-Go through homework within a day of receiving it, and plan how you will get it done.

-Keep current at all times (for conscience’s sake, as well as for practical reasons)!

Proverbs 11:14

-Many advisors make victory sure. So seek discipling in your academics and get input from professors, lecturers and classmates.

Spiritual Exercise: Do, at least, one of the practical suggestions mentioned above during your next academic week.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE- DATING

Marriage and dating relationships are heavily influenced by cultural norms. Dating, as one would commonly understand it today, is a relatively recent phenomenon, developing in America and the West since the 1950’s. Before that time, and in many places in the world today, marriage relationships were typically arranged by families or a formal “courting” took place. This was the case in Biblical times as well. Consequently, one will not find the term “dating” anywhere in the Bible. With regards to dating and guy-girl relationships, many of us may come out of the world with bad experiences or low expectations. The Bible offers some very important principles and viewpoints on guy-girl relationships that draw right boundaries and set us on a path for building successful friendships and dating relationships. In the church, we understand steady boyfriend-girlfriend dating to be a courting relationship that may eventually explore the possibility of marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:39

-This is neither encouragement nor suggestion; it is a clear command of God: "...he must belong to the Lord." Disciples marry disciples.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

-The context to this scripture is about who we give our affection to. Paul told the disciples in Corinth that he and his companions had given their affection (hearts) to them (2 Cor. 6:11) but the Corinthians were “withholding” their affection from Paul and the other disciples (2 Cor. 6:12). Paul was telling them that they should be eager to give their hearts to other disciples but NEVER be yoked (give their affection and hearts) to unbelievers!

TYPES OF DATING

-Friendly dating/Encouragement dating: guys and girls going out to encourage one another and get to know each other with no romantic strings attached and no expectations except friendship…this should happen a lot!

-Steady dating: having an exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend. This should happen after taking the time to build a regular friendship. It is wise to seek input from spiritual advisors in your life.

Psalm 37:4

-Steady dating (i.e. getting a boyfriend or girlfriend) in the world can take place for all the wrong reasons: insecurity (needing to “be with someone” in order to feel loved or special), social pressure, lustfulness or status.

-First and foremost, our delight should be in the Lord. He is the primary source for what our hearts desire in terms of intimacy, feelings of worth, security and confidence.

SPIRITUAL GUY/GIRL RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLES

-Be considerate of one another. Do not be a stumbling block. (1 Corinthians 10:32-33)

-Ideas: Go on dates with a double; home before midnight; dress appropriately, etc.

-Be absolutely pure – Ephesians 5:3 / 1 Timothy 5:2 In all guy-girl relationships (dating and non-dating) the standard of purity is very high. What kinds of things, short of sexual immorality, would still be a “hint” of sexual immorality/impurity? (Inappropriate kissing, touching, making out, etc.)

Get Advice - Proverbs 19:2,20

-Our worldly notions of dating should not be imported into God’s kingdom; be humble enough to admit that you do not know how to successfully build a spiritual dating relationship with a Christian…you need advice!

Spiritual Exercise: Write out a list of things / principles that God says are essential to building a spiritual friendship (with the opposite sex) and entering into a godly marriage. Make a list of people you can get advice from regarding building these relationships.

Kanawha Valley Church

1565 Smith Road, Charleston, WV 25314